Stake It & Make It: The $ALPH DeFi Degens' Playbook
As you may have noticed, both The Gazette and my personal Twitter account have shifted into full-on degen mode. This is my way of aligning with our upcoming fam and frens from Binance and embracing the chaos.
With that in mind, we’re launching a new series designed to ignite the dormant degenerate spirit within us all. You know the guy: the one who buys first and DYORs later, the one who doubles down when the pain hits, or the one who goes all-in because an OG shouted the ticker, and f*ck it, let’s go!!
And trust me, I’m not just talking the talk—I’m walking the walk! Over the past few days, I’ve fully unleashed my inner degen. I APED into a memetoken after just a glance, chased the pump with reckless abandon, shilled my heart out, AAAAND—brace yourselves—opened a leveraged trade ON A CENTRAL EXCHANGE!! Yes, I’ve gone there.
So, here’s the deal: The Gazette is dedicating a fresh series to the degens. This will be a space to shill the juiciest memetokens and APYs out there. The focus? Pure PAMP energy. (Well, let’s be real—no one wants to get rugged, but you know the drill.) Call it what you want, but the mission is clear: we’re sending memetokens to Valhalla.
Here’s my DeFi Degen Playbook:
Find the potential PAMPs then APE.
Find the juiciest APYs then STAKE.
PAMPs and APEs
Now, onto the latest scoop. I recently jumped into $EXY—a meme token that made a mind-blowing 100x move. Did I buy it on the ground floor? Of course not. I bought it at the 100th-x PAMPED! Yes, I FOMO’d into the absolute top.
But before you dismiss it, consider this: this hidden gem features a buy-back-and-burn mechanism from the LP rewards and currently sits at a modest $50,000 market cap. With the right nudge—even just a sneeze from an influencer—It could 100x.
Behind it all is Ron, an Alephium ambassador and the creator of $EXY. His vision is refreshingly simple yet incredibly impactful: to empower Elexium Finance. $EXY isn’t just the first memetoken on the platform; it’s also the first to hit a 100x PAMP.
Check out this latest episode of our Behind the Code series where we interviewed Ron.
So, buckle up. The degeneracy is just getting started.
YIELDS for DAYS
Those juicy gains need a home. Let’s be real: I don’t completely believe you’re the kind of degenerate who’ll hold them all the way down from the moon back to Earth. So, what’s the move? Stake those gains and start earning steady “income.” And there’s no better way to do that than by hunting down the juiciest APYs available.
Let me break it down for you (I could’ve just let you ape in blindly, but hey, this is Episode 1). Here’s how we play it smart while still keeping it degen:
THICC Liquidity Pools: We’ll target deep, robust liquidity pools so you don’t get burned holding the LP tokens. No one likes impermanent loss eating up their profits.
Persistent Buys: We’ll look for setups with sustainable buy pressure—whether that’s driven by utility, aggressive buy-backs, or token-burning mechanics from the open market. Anything that supports price stability or upward momentum is fair game.
The Voodoo Factor: Lastly, there needs to be a sprinkle of degen sorcery—some voodoo-level shenanigans that set the project apart. Maybe it’s a meme-driven cult following, maybe it’s some unexplainable pump energy, but something that keeps it alive and thriving.
Welcome to the hunt for APY gold—let’s get those yields stacking! 🚀
Right now, the juiciest APYs are coming out of Elexium Finance. Nearly all these pools are the OG meme tokens that have stood the test of time. If you’re into for newer and fresher entries, LD77 and DOGE—they’re making waves too.
Just a quick FYI: liquidity pools (LPs) are essentially a collection of people’s funds pooled together to provide liquidity for token swaps. These pools typically come in pairs with an equivalent value ratio.
To oversimplify, let’s say you want to earn yield on your 1 BTC. You’d need to pair it with (it’s current market price) approximately $90,000 worth of another token (like USDT). This combination becomes an LP token, which you can then stake in a protocol to start earning those sweet APYs.
Of course, this is a simplified explanation—but that’s the basic idea!
Here are the juiciest LPs with the highest APYs on Alephium right now:
And here’s my 16-day old ALPH/EX Position at 232% APY
But let’s talk about the real standout: BREAD token with a mind-blowing 951% APR. That’s insane, right? For those not in the loop, BREAD token powers the What the Duck NFT collection. This collection was created by Reed, a core developer of Elexium Finance and the mastermind behind the NFT breakthrough Minting Time.
With that kind of pedigree, BREAD isn’t just a meme—it’s part of a growing ecosystem. If you’re ready to dive into some serious APYs, Elexium Finance might just be your next playground.
Soon, you’ll see an updated APY for $EXY.
But wait, there’s more to earning than just LP-staking. Enter “bribe-taking!” This works a bit differently because you only need a single token: $EX, the utility token of Elexium Finance.
Here’s how it works: create a Lock with your $EX, choosing the maximum timeframe for the highest voting power, or the shortest for, well... the weakest vote in human history ever. Once that’s set, vote for a pool! Aim to vote for the pool with the highest vAPY—but don’t forget to show some love to ALPH/EX as a nod to tradition.
Here are the top picks!
And there you have it—a world of yield opportunities waiting for you to explore.
Take note, these numbers can change in a heartbeat, so you guys’ better act quickly. Whether you’re staking LPs, diving into bribe-taking, or chasing the highest vAPYs, the possibilities are endless. Oh yeah, we'll check back on AYIN in 2 to 3 weeks. We might find some great APYs there.
Remember, the degenerate journey is as much about strategy as it is about embracing the thrill of the ride. So, lock in those gains, vote wisely, and let’s keep sending tokens to Valhalla. 🚀
Disclaimer:
Listen up, you glorious band of crypto gamblers, because this is the part where we get all serious for a hot second. What you've just read was just some juicy info, not your golden ticket to Lambo land. (Although it might have been!!)
Now, here's the deal:
This isn't financial advice. If you're looking for that, maybe go find some dude in a suit who charges by the hour and doesn’t cuss from time to time.
Got questions about where to stash your cash? Talk to a real financial wizard, not me. I’m here for the memes and moonshots.
I’m definitely not promising you'll strike it rich with this info. Hell, I’m not promising anything at all except maybe some laughs.
Before you YOLO your life savings into the next shiny token, do your own damn homework. I mean it!!
If the market decides to take a dump and you end up crying over your lost ALPH, remember: I told you so. I’m not your safety net, and use what’s inside that helmet.
Crypto's wild, unpredictable, and it loves to keep you on your toes. It's like a roller coaster, but you're blindfolded and the tracks might not be finished yet!
So, fck it, enjoy the ride, but for the love of Cheng and Satoshi, don't bet the farm on what you read here. Past gains? They're just history, and history's full of tales where the hero didn't always win. (Matter of fact, most heroes you know are all dead.) Now, go forth, tread carefully, and maybe, just maybe, you'll come out the other side not just richer, but wiser.
